In 2005, my wife Heather was diagnosed with a deadly cancer known as malignant pleural mesothelioma, and our lives changed forever. The day of her diagnosis was the day I became a different person. I became a caregiver for someone with cancer. It was strange to be going through something so traumatic after celebrating something so beautiful, the birth of our daughter Lily, just three months before. With the holidays right around the corner, the dark times only seemed to be growing darker.
I hit the ground running as my wife’s caregiver. Immediately, we had to make choices about treatment. My wife was shocked, and while I was as well, the doctor was forcing us to get started on the problem. We couldn’t afford to waste any time. We were given three different options for treatment. One was the local university hospital, and the other was the regional hospital, which actually had a great cancer treatment program but no mesothelioma specialists. Lastly, we could go to Boston to be treated by a specialist named David Sugarbaker. The only choice was clear. We needed a specialist, and we would be going to Boston.
The next few months were complete mayhem. There was hardly a daily routine. Everything became complicated. My wife and I worked full time jobs before the cancer, but now it was on me. I didn’t mind that part of it, but I had to balance my time so crucially that I often lost my senses. I couldn’t do that. It was difficult enough being the rock, but I had to be strong for my family. I just couldn’t help but have my doubts, and where those doubts led, I saw my wife gone and all of our money as well, leaving my daughter and I homeless and alone. It was a dark thought but it was something that I knew could very well happen to my family. Our finances were already stretched beyond measure, and there was no guarantee that the treatment would even work. Despite these fears being very real in my head, I never let my wife see them. I always strived to be the positive presence in her fight.
Help came when we needed it the most. I didn’t know it, but friends and family had been there for us since the very beginning. Heather’s family really came through. They provided financial help and even childcare for Lily to ease some of the responsibilities and provide a better transition for my wife after her treatment. I learned to accept every offer of help during this trying time. There is no room for pride when a loved one’s life is on the line, and our community really came through for us.
Heather underwent intense and often extremely difficult treatment, but eventually she beat mesothelioma, a rare feat accomplished by far to few. She is still healthy and cancer-free to this day, over seven years after the diagnosis that changed our lives. We hope that our story of triumph over cancer can be a source of hope and inspiration to all those currently battling today.